For a good few of the years we lived in Scotland, my birthday worked like this: sometime in January, Jess would disappear into a browser for an evening, and in February we’d find ourselves checking into a castle. February in Scotland is nobody’s idea of peak season, which worked well in our favour. The rates…
Veterans die by suicide at more than twice the rate of non-veterans,1 with the highest risk occurring during their transition from military service.2
Each year, approximately 200,000 men and women make this transition from U.S. military service to civilian life.3 The year following military service has been called the “Deadly Gap” a period in which the veteran suicide rate is more than double the rate among active duty military personnel.4 The transition from military service can be filled with opportunity, but veterans can also face significant challenges such as the loss of camaraderie and purpose, employment and financial stress, coping with unmet mental health conditions and more. The convergence of such challenges can create a perfect storm resulting in elevated suicide risk. At Cohen Veterans Network, we believe it’s crucial that we bring awareness to this critical period and empower our community to be there for one another.
Learn more about veteran suicide prevention strategies and resources.
The post Mind the Gap: Preventing Suicide After Service appeared first on Cohen Veterans Network.
These Lentil Burgers are surprisingly easy to make, packed with BIG burger flavor, and super budget-friendly! I pulse some cooked lentils in a food processor with garlic and spices, then fold in more whole lentils, carrots, onions, and flour to help the patties hold together. After 30 minutes in the oven, they’re filling, totally vegan, and *may* even rival a traditional burger, with no grill needed! I like to top mine with the usual burger veggie suspects like tomato, onion, lettuce, and extra pickles, plus plenty of sauce. Best of all, each lentil burger costs just $0.64, including the bun!
I’ve learned firsthand that making a vegan meal satisfying enough to win over meat eaters can be tricky! So I made sure these lentil burgers have plenty of bold, familiar burger flavor from garlic, tomato paste, paprika, cumin, salt, and pepper. Beyond getting the flavor right, I also wanted the texture to be perfect (and avoid dense, mushy patties!). To do that, I pulse only some of the cooked lentils with the seasonings to create a thick, sticky base, then fold in the remaining lentils whole for a heartier texture.
Grated carrots and onions add mild sweetness and a little crunch, and flour absorbs excess moisture so the mixture is easier to shape. I firmly pack everything into four generous patties about ½ inch thick. They’ll still be delicate when you flip them halfway through, so take it slow and use a wide spatula. The patties become sturdier during the final 15 minutes and finish with lightly crispy edges. For another hearty meatless patty that doesn’t rely on expensive meat substitutes, try our black bean burgers next!
At only $0.64 each, these lentil burgers aren’t just an affordable vegan alternative. They’re a genuinely low-cost dinner. The dried lentils cost just $1.14 for the amount needed in this recipe, so compared with the ground beef alone needed to make classic hamburgers, there’s really no comparison! Burgers are also a familiar meal for most people. That means this recipe is also an approachable way to put a completely vegan dinner on the table without spending much.
I use carrots and onions to flavor the patties here, but you can swap in mushrooms, sweet potato, zucchini, bell pepper, or fresh herbs if you already have them on hand (because using what you have is another easy way to stretch your budget!) Since some vegetables contain more water, adjust the flour as needed until the mixture holds together when pressed.
Print
Add to Collection Go to Collections
See how we calculate recipe costs here.
**Flour absorbs moisture and keeps this recipe egg-free, but breadcrumbs, rolled oats, or ground oats will also work. These aren’t exact one-for-one substitutions, so adjust the amount until the mixture stays formed when pressed. For gluten-free burgers, use certified gluten-free oats, flour, or breadcrumbs.
***I firmly pressed the mixture together to hold and form the patties. If the mixture seems too dry, add a little water or oil. If the mixture seems too wet, add a little flour to help absorb the moisture.
Skillet directions: You can cook these burgers in a skillet in hot oil over medium heat for 5-6 minutes on each side. I do, however, recommend refrigerating them for about 30 minutes before cooking because they tend to fall apart in the skillet since you’re handling them more!
Make them a freezer meal! Freeze the shaped unbaked patties OR fully cooled cooked patties for 2-3 months, placing parchment paper between them. Thaw overnight in the refrigerator, then bake unbaked patties according to the recipe or reheat cooked patties in a 350°F oven until hot throughout.
Gather all of your ingredients and preheat the oven to 400°F.
Cook and cool the lentils: Bring 4½ cups water to a gentle simmer in a medium pot. Add 1½ cups dry brown lentils, let the water return to a simmer, then reduce the heat and cover the pot with the lid slightly tilted. Simmer the lentils for about 20 minutes. The lentils should be easy to chew and tender with no firm or chalky center.
Drain the lentils in a colander, rinse with cold water to stop the cooking, and shake away as much water as possible.
Make the seasoned lentil base: Add 1¼ cups of the cooked lentils (about 240g) to a food processor with 2 garlic cloves, 1 Tbsp tomato paste, 1 tsp salt, ½ tsp black pepper, ½ tsp paprika, and ½ tsp cumin. Process in short bursts, stopping to scrape around the blade and down the sides. Stop once the mixture forms a paste-like consistency. Check that no large pieces of garlic remain, then transfer the mixture to a large bowl. You can also mince the garlic before processing to help it combine easily!
Prep the carrot and onion: If you haven’t already, grate 1 small carrot (to make ½ cup grated carrot) and ½ an onion (to make ¼ cup grated onion).
Finish the burger mixture: Add the remaining cooked lentils, ½ cup grated carrot, ¼ cup grated onion, and 3 Tbsp all-purpose flour to the bowl. Fold everything together until the vegetables are evenly distributed. Squeeze a small amount in your hand to check it. It should stay compressed instead of spreading or breaking apart. If it feels too sticky to shape, work in another tablespoon of flour. If it breaks apart immediately, add water or oil 1 teaspoon at a time.
Shape the patties: Divide the lentil mixture into four equal portions, then compress each one firmly before flattening it into a ½-inch-thick patty.
Line a sheet pan with parchment paper and coat it well with nonstick spray. Press any large cracks around the edges of the patties closed so they don’t widen in the oven. Arrange the patties on the prepared pan and lightly spray their tops.
Bake the burgers: Bake the patties in the preheated oven for about 15 minutes. Slide a wide spatula fully underneath each patty and carefully turn it over.
Lightly spray the tops again with cooking oil, then bake for another 15 minutes. The finished burgers should lift fairly easily, feel set when gently pressed, and have lightly browned edges with a tender center.
Assemble and serve: Place each lentil burger on one of 4 hamburger buns and add your favorite sauces and toppings. If you’re loading them with plenty of sauce (as I always do!), I recommend lightly toasting the cut sides of the buns first, so they hold up better. Serve the burgers warm and enjoy!
I usually pile my lentil burger high with lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, and whatever sauce I’m feeling that day! Stuck for ideas? You can go with the basics like me, or try one of these combinations:
I’m a huge fan of pickles, so I like serving my lentil burgers with our dill pickle pasta salad to bring out those cookout vibes (even when I’m making them in weather that’s anything but cookout-friendly)! You can also skip the bun and make a veggie burger salad by serving the patty over chopped lettuce with tomatoes, cucumber, avocado, pickles, and your favorite creamy dressing.
I also love a side of air fryer zucchini with these burgers. They keep things veggie-friendly, AND they cook in just 20 minutes, so you can make them in the air fryer while the burgers bake. And of course, it wouldn’t be right not to mention a side of fries! I personally love these spicy sweet potato fries. They also bake at 400°F, so I put them in the oven 15 minutes before the lentil burgers, and everything is ready to enjoy at the same time!
Let them cool completely, then refrigerate the patties in an airtight container for 3-4 days. Store them without the buns or toppings so nothing becomes soggy. I like to place parchment paper between the patties if I need to stack them for storage.
For the best texture, reheat the patties in a 350°F oven for 10-15 minutes, flipping halfway through, until hot in the center and lightly crisp around the edges. For a quicker option, microwave each patty in 30-second intervals until heated through, but keep in mind that the microwave will make it much softer.
To freeze the lentil burgers before baking, freeze them flat on a sheet pan until firm, then stack them in a freezer-safe container with parchment paper between each one. Freeze for 2-3 months. Thaw overnight in the refrigerator, then bake at 400°F for the full 30 minutes, flipping after 15 minutes.
If you want to freeze leftover cooked patties, let them cool completely before stacking them with parchment paper. Freeze for 2-3 months, thaw overnight in the refrigerator, then reheat in the oven until hot throughout.
The post Lentil Burgers appeared first on Budget Bytes.
I made this for dinner when my brother came to visit, and by the end of his visit three days later, I had already made it again because we all loved it so much.
Can this just be dinner for the next three weeks? the next month? the next year? Peanut chicken, coconut rice, and ginger slaw is truly a match made in heaven.
In the bowl:
The ginger slaw in particular – MORE OF THAT PLEASE. I could eat that on / with / around everything. It’s bright and zingy with a sassy little gingery bite.
And the freshness of the vibrant slaw against the richness of the peanut chicken and coconut rice – ugh. I love it so much.
I use the Trader Joe’s peanut satay sauce for this (same stuff I used on this recipe)! But if you don’t have access to Trader Joe’s, a homemade peanut satay sauce like this one will work! I think they’ve recently changed the sauce just slightly – it used to be pretty thick, but my last few batches have been smooth and drizzle-able right out of the jar!
Hope you guys love this combo as much as I do.
The marinating time is minimal; I just let it sit in the sauce for a bit while I prep everything else.
I use a mandoline for this! You could skip the shallots and use a store-bought purple slaw – I do love the thinly sliced shallots in there, though!
I often use my hands – it’ll be juicy and so fragrant, crunchy-tender, and just so yummy.
Use a good nonstick skillet for this, with a bit of avocado oil! Air frying also works. The chicken cooks fast!
The coconut rice and chicken on the bottom, and a scoop of the slaw on top. YUM.
If you’re short on time and looking to make even easier:
Coconut rice, bright ginger slaw, and a quick peanut chicken using Trader Joe’s peanut satay sauce!
Peanut Chicken
Ginger Slaw
Coconut Rice
Prep Time: 15 minutesCook Time: 20 minutes
Category: Dinner
Method: Stovetop
Cuisine: Thai-InspiredKeywords: chicken dinner recipe, chicken dinner, chicken recipe, peanut chicken
The post Peanut Chicken with Ginger Slaw appeared first on Pinch of Yum.
This sheet pan gnocchi recipe is about as easy as dinner gets! Everything goes onto one pan with olive oil and Italian seasoning, then roasts until the gnocchi is crispy and the veggies are tender. Finish it with Parmesan and dig in!
I love how easy this sheet pan dinner is to throw together, especially on a busy weeknight. The crispy gnocchi is a favorite at my house. It has incredible texture and flavor. If you love gnocchi too, be sure to try my fried gnocchi and homemade potato gnocchi next!
I love easy sheet-pan meals. Just toss everything on the pan, pop it in the oven, and dinner is ready! These are so simple that I even have my kids help out. If you love an easy dinner, here are a few more recipes to try!
When Mark Buchmann found a treasure trove of images, awards and documents associated with his great-uncle Werner Bernet, he thought to himself, “What the heck is this?”
this site
It’s important to be aware of retinal diseases for which risk increases with age, including wet age-related macular degeneration. Learn more through Pete’s experience, and don’t forget to check in on your eye health.
This article is sponsored by Regeneron.
Image courtesy of Regeneron
People often assume life slows down with age, but that hasn’t stopped Pete. In fact, at 69 years old, Pete is volunteering for the Red Cross, helping care for his grandchildren and umpiring for his local little league.
Oftentimes, people don’t realize how eye problems can hold them back until they’re personally affected.
“Coaching my daughter’s softball team when she was growing up was such a blast, and I’m always looking to give back to my community. Now, all these years later, I’m an umpire! And my vision is a critical part of it all.”
Even when Pete was diagnosed with wet age-related macular degeneration (Wet AMD) in 2019, he knew he needed to take a proactive role in his care.
Image courtesy of Regeneron
Several years ago, Pete woke up one morning and noticed something was off. His right eye was fuzzy. When his ophthalmologist diagnosed him with dry age-related macular degeneration (Dry AMD), he was shocked. “I’m too young to have this,” he remarked.
Then came the turning point: a retina specialist found fluid behind the retina in Pete’s eyes and diagnosed him with Wet AMD. For the next few years, Pete attended his doctor’s appointments to receive treatments, which sometimes stole precious time away from his family and hobbies.
Wet AMD is an age-related retinal disease that occurs when abnormal blood vessels grow in the retina, the light-sensitive layer at the back of the eye, and leak fluid into the macula, potentially causing vision loss. AMD is a leading cause of vision loss for Americans age 50 and older.
Symptoms may appear suddenly and worsen quickly. These may include blurriness in central vision, blind spots or patches, colors looking dull or washed out and straight lines looking wavy. This shift in vision can bring not only physical challenges but also an emotional impact, including a loss of independence and reduced social connection.
Pete’s Wet AMD diagnosis hit him hard. But, instead of feeling discouraged, he pushed himself to take a proactive role in his treatment plan and learn more about different therapy options.
He heard about a prescription medicine called EYLEA HD® (aflibercept) Injection 8 mg, which was approved by the FDA in August 2023, and he asked his retina specialist if it would be the right treatment option for him. After they discussed the potential benefits and possible side effects, they ultimately decided it was the right plan for him.
Please see additional IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION below and click here for full Prescribing Information.
With EYLEA HD, Pete now sees his retina specialist 4 or 5 times a year, which works for his busy schedule. As of April 2026, EYLEA HD became the first and only FDA-approved injectable anti-VEGF treatment for Wet AMD that gives you a chance for 5 months between injections after 1 year of successful response.
After 3 initial monthly treatments, your retina specialist will choose a 2-to-4-month treatment schedule. Some patients may need to resume monthly treatments. After 1 year of successful response, your retina specialist may extend your treatment schedule to every 5 months. Dosing may vary.
Pete needs his vision to help make the right calls on the field. He explains, “Being an umpire means the fate of a game sometimes relies on me. When I put the mask on, I need to have confidence in my vision to make the right calls.”
Image courtesy of Regeneron
Today, Pete is proud that he decided to take an active role in his care. These days, he enjoys taking in the beautiful sights that life has to offer – most importantly, watching his grandchildren grow up.
If you notice vision changes or symptoms, such as spots or blurry vision, it’s important to make an appointment with an eye doctor as it could be a sign of Wet AMD. And if you have been diagnosed with Wet AMD, talk to your retina specialist about available treatment options and whether EYLEA HD may be appropriate for you.
EYLEA HD® (aflibercept) Injection 8 mg and EYLEA® (aflibercept) Injection 2 mg are prescription medicines approved for the treatment of patients with Wet Age-Related Macular Degeneration (AMD), Diabetic Macular Edema (DME), Diabetic Retinopathy (DR), and Macular Edema following Retinal Vein Occlusion (RVO).
Please click here for full Prescribing Information for EYLEA HD and EYLEA.
(This article is by my colleague Paula Spencer Scott, author of the book Surviving Alzheimer’s: Practical Tips and Soul-Saving Wisdom for Caregivers. I invited her to share an article on this topic, since many in our community are coping with dementia behaviors. — Dr. K)
The odd behaviors of Alzheimer’s and other dementias can be so frustrating and stressful for families.
I’m talking about the kinds of behaviors that try patience, fray relationships, and drive us in desperate search of help:
“First she thinks the caregiver is stealing her sunglasses and now she accused me of having an affair.”
“When I tried to help Dad wash up, he hit me.”
“My husband follows me so closely I can’t stand it. But if I go in another room he’ll wander out of the house.”
“Mom started unbuttoning her shirt in the middle of the restaurant!”
“Just when I’m completely exhausted at the end of the day, he seems to get revved up. He keeps peeking out the windows, convinced that someone is trying to break in. Now he won’t sleep.”
A common approach to sundowning and difficult behaviors is to go right to medicating them with tranquilizers, sedatives, or antipsychotics. But that’s risky and often not what’s best.
In fact, experts recommend trying behavior management first, and for good reasons: It tends to be more effective in the long run than “chemical restraints,” has no dangerous side effects, and leads to a better care relationship. But people often don’t know how to do this.
I’ve learned how.
I’ve lived through five close family members’ experiences with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. Lots of trial and error, and insights from dozens of top dementia experts (whose brains I’ve been lucky to pick as a journalist and dementia educator), got me through regular scenes with…
In this article, I want to share what I wish someone had explained to me early on: the “Why-This, Try-This” approach to dealing with difficult behaviors.
This is a mental framework that can help you get unstuck from unproductive responses that get you nowhere or make things worse.
It can bring calm -– to both of you — whether the issue is verbal or physical aggression, agitation, confusion, wandering, disinhibition, delusions, hallucinations, or a restless or repetitive behavior (like pacing, shadowing, rummaging). It also works well with milder irritants like repetitive questions and indecision.
Then, I’ll boil down the Why-This, Try-This concept to a 7-step process you can use every time. These “7 R”s give you a basic platform for responding to any frustrating behavior:
You can’t reason with the person to get out of these situations.
You need to look for the reason why it’s happening in the first place.
To turn things around, consider:
Believe it or not, there actually is a “why” behind nearly all dementia behavior. Often there are multiple reasons at once.
Fundamentally, a challenging behavior is a reaction to a set of circumstances, expressing something that the person may be otherwise unable to convey.
As cognitive and communication abilities wane, it becomes harder for a person with Alzheimer’s to say things like, “I’m confused” or “I’m feeling anxious” or “I just want to be left alone.”
The natural response to all these challenges is frustration, defensiveness, anger, anxiety, or fear. We all act on certain ways when we’re feeling uneasy, mad, insecure, frustrated and so on. These are magnified in someone with dementia, who is even less equipped to deal.
Certain types of dementia can bring added stressors. With Lewy body dementia, for example, visual hallucinations are common. With frontotemporal dementia, impulse control erodes, so you’re more likely to encounter problems like uncharacteristic cursing or sexual behaviors.
Just reminding yourself that there IS a “why” can help extend your empathy and patience.
There’s no single right way to respond to most situations. In many cases, several different things could work, depending on the person and the circumstances.
But here’s what pretty much never works: things like sharp words, attempting to reason with the person, or worse yet, using force.
Instead you’ll need words and actions that are more gentle, more loving – and yep, sometimes downright creative. Although you can’t always stop an irritating behavior, you often can make it less bothersome, safer, or more acceptable, and even over time lower its frequency.
Be ready to do some trial-and-error. If one response isn’t doing the trick, you can almost always try something else that will.
Now with this “Why-This, Try-This” framework in mind, let’s go through the seven steps you can use to put this in action.
The hard truth: the person with dementia can’t change the way he or she is. You have to change — your reaction and the environment or situation.
So putting the person first in your thinking as you react is paramount.
Reassuring brings anxiety, upset, or other stress down a notch. It communicates I’m on your side. I take you seriously. Not feeling understood makes anyone more distressed. For someone with dementia, you create a floor to what must feel like bottomless uneasiness.
The catch: To reassure someone else, we first have to collect our own feelings. This can be hard because these are almost always emotionally charged situations!
It’s easy to feel annoyed when your parent is about to drive off yet another caregiver with false accusations. Or scared when your spouse lashes out or hits. Or embarrassed when Mom’s blouse comes off. Or worried Dad will fall or get lost. We want to REACT!
Showing emotional intensity only makes things worse. It puts the other person on the defensive and adds to their instability (more combative, less cooperative). Also, people with dementia tend to be very sensitive to others’ moods, mirroring their demeanor. If you’re upset, they’re apt to continue to be upset or become more upset. If you’re calm and reassuring, you have a much better chance of transmitting that state.
And avoid making the mistake of assuming they’ll forget your angry moment. Research suggests that although people with dementia quickly forget what was said, the emotional impact of an encounter (whether it was negative or positive) lingers for much longer.
How to reassure:
Collect yourself. Do whatever works for you but know that it’s useful to have a “go to” strategy before you dive in. Examples: Take a deep breath. Count silently to three. Have a “silent scream” in the bathroom. I’d consciously remind myself, “It’s not him (or her); it’s the dementia!”— and I needed to enter my relative’s reality.
Approach slowly and from the front. You’re less likely to startle, confuse, or provoke.
Avoid urging, “Calm down!” Seems like the most natural response in the world, right? But when someone is feeling out of control, it’s like grease on fire. It feels dismissive, rather than reassuring. Also avoid asking, “What’s wrong?” The person with dementia likely can’t articulate it and is left feeling more helpless, rather than helped.
Stop yourself from reacting with logic (no matter how tempting). You CANNOT reason with the person, win an argument, or use facts or “proof” to prove your point. It won’t work. So set that impulse aside.
Respond to the emotion being expressed, rather than the behavior. Instead of saying things like, “Don’t do that!” or “What are you doing?!” focus on validating the person’s mood as you assess the situation.
Even before you understand what’s going on, you can play back what you think they’re feeling: “You sound upset.” “You look like you’re in a hurry.” “You look sad; can I help?” “I know this bothers you a lot. Let me see how I can help.”
Some people respond to a special saying or soothing mantra that you can repeat as needed: “I’m here.” “Everything’s all right.” “Not to worry, love.”
Use body language that matches your words. More than half of any message we give (to anyone) is conveyed nonverbally. But this is especially true when someone has dementia. Avoid sighing or rolling your eyes. Relax your posture. Make eye contact. Smile. Nod. Use a friendly tone of voice. All make the listener more open to what you have to say. Touch can also reassure and guide, such as lightly placing your fingers on a forearm, outstretching your hand in invitation, or putting an arm around a shoulder.
Upsetting behaviors are seldom done “on purpose” or to spite you or annoy you. That requires a sophisticated level of cognition that the person with dementia is struggling to maintain or has more likely lost.
Usually, several factors together influence behavior. My widower father-in-law, lonely and probably bored, and prone to delusions, invented several wives; he’d waken from a nap (where maybe he dreamt about them) and expect one to be in the room. If she wasn’t, she must have “stepped out” or “went in the hospital” and he needed get there PRONTO! Eroded thinking skills make it hard to process reality.
Another common example: Someone who misplaces her sunglasses can’t mentally retrace her steps to figure out where she left them, so she explains away the gap as theft.
How to try to understand the “WHY”:
Consider the timing. Is this a change that’s come on over recent hours or perhaps the last few days? Suspect delirium due to illness, or something about the immediate situation. A recent change in medications could also be the culprit.
Ask yourself if there’s a pattern to when or where the problem seems to happen. Is there something about the light, noise, or activity at that time (or place) that’s different? A common escalation of restless behaviors in late afternoon or early evening is known as sundowning (as in, when the sun goes down). One theory is that there’s a disruption of the body clock in some people with dementia related to light. Vision problems, low lighting, shadows, and fatigue can all increase sundown syndrome.
Make a mental sweep of what’s new or different that might have set the person off. Was there a change in routine? A new aide? A changed or new prescription? Houseguests? Are there other symptoms of illness?
Consider possible unmet needs. At the root of odd behaviors is often:
Ask the person questions that show you’re on their side—which might also yield clues to what’s going on. Avoid “Why?” because the person can’t articulate feelings and motives. (“Why do you think that?’ “Why are you doing that?”)
Better: Interested questions that use the other W’s (who, what, when, where). “When did you notice?” “Where did she go?”
Riff off what they’re saying or doing: To someone insistent on going home, you might ask, “Who’s at home?” or “What would you like to do when you get home?” With a wanderer, the conversation might go like this: “Where do you need to go?” “To work.” “What will you do at work?” “Meetings!” “Oh, what are the meetings about today?”
Four terrific words to use: “Tell me about it.” It’s a respectful, open-ended way to gather info and insight.
By eliminating what sets off a behavior, you might be able to end it.
My father kept taking a stopped clock off the wall every time he walked past it. I mean every time! He wanted to repair it but had lost the thinking skills to follow-through. Stupidly, I kept putting it back up—until I realized it was directly in his line of vision on his way to the bathroom, a visual reminder all day long of his need to “fix” it. I moved the clock. Out of sight, out of mind, problem solved.
Common triggers for difficult behaviors:
Many triggers for dementia behaviors will fall into one of the following categories:
Visual triggers. They’re common and easiest to address (like my dad and the clock). Some wanderers are triggered by the sight of keys or a coat by a door, for example; relocate them to another spot. Repeated comments and questions often have a visual trigger.
Activity triggers. At dinnertime, my mother-in-law used to ask over and over, “Should I be doing something?” The sounds of meal prep cued her deeply wired habit to be busy and productive. Told no, everything was fine, she’d say okay…and then ask again a few seconds later. Once we found a way to give her a task—even something as simple as stirring a pot or folding a single napkin repeatedly—her anxious questioning improved.
Misperception triggers. A man who’s combative during bathing may misinterpret the help gestures as an invasion of privacy. An aggressive person is often saying, “I’m overwhelmed and out of control.” Withdraw, even if the action seemed (to you) as mild as offering a washcloth. Try again another time.
Sensory misperceptions can also occur. If streetlights and tree shadows look like people, close the curtains after dark. If tree branches are striking the house, have them trimmed or play soothing, favored music in the evening.
It’s also fair to use “therapeutic lying”—a white lie that enters their reality: “The police are checking to make sure everything is safe.” No longer recognizing one’s own reflection in a mirror is common. Thinking you see a stranger in the bathroom is understandably agitating; it it’s upsetting, remove or cover the mirror.
Discomfort triggers. Address the source: food for hunger, a fan if it’s hot. Don’t overlook glare, feeling personally crowded, or pain. Sometimes stripping happens when fabric is itchy or the style uncomfortable. If unbuttoning becomes a nervous tic, switch to pullovers or back buttons that are harder to remove. A “fidget quilt” with buttons and zippers can be an effective substitute for busy hands.
Frustration triggers. Sometimes when you “give” in fantasy what you can’t in reality, it soothes the distress of not feeling understood: “Oh I wish we could go to that old house right this minute. Let’s plan what we’d do there.”
To get my father-in-law to stop hauling his worldly goods to the curb via walker, we finally stopped putting them back at night. We told him we’d store them in the garage because it looked like rain. He was satisfied (we’d listened!) and this, with the visual trigger of the goods gone, stopped his back-and-forthing. If an activity is beyond ability, offer support or casually end it. Retreat and rest is key when just trying to keep it together all day overwhelm.
You may also need to break the loop of upset by redirecting the person’s behavior or attention. To redirect literally means to change the direction of things. Your goal is to move away from the stressful thing and toward calm.
The many different ways to do this are all most effective once you’ve invested a little time reassuring and calmly connecting with the person. Validating my father-in-law’s perceptions always calmed him at least a little bit, putting him in a more receptive frame of mind to then be diverted by some cookies or opera music.
Some ways to redirect:
Introduce a diversion without belaboring the reason for it: “Hey, I have an idea, let’s….” “Oh wow, look at the funny birds at the birdfeeder….” “Dad, I need your help with….”
Offer a choice of two things the person likes to do: “Would you rather eat your ice cream now or rock on the porch with me?” For someone who has difficulty making choices, express it as a yes/no question: “Are you ready for your ice cream?”
Lead the person to a change in scenery. It might be a different chair, another room, or from inside to outdoors. You can’t physically force them along, which only creates more stress. Instead, try using body language. Beckon and offer your hand. “Where are we going?” the person may ask. “It’s a surprise,” you say. That word alone can be diverting—everyone’s intrigued by a surprise. (The “surprise” can be as simple as a snack, a look at clouds, a YouTube baby video, or a baseball game on TV.)
Shift to an entirely different kind of activity. Sensory experiences, like playing music, gardening, rocking in a rocking chair, or helping to prepare food, are known to bring positive emotional associations.
Use bridge phrases to change the topic of conversation. Certain transitional words “build a bridge” to a new direction—away from the thought or image that got the person stuck. “It’s a mystery about your sunglasses. But that reminds me of the time you bought them for that wonderful whale-watching trip and the whale splashed us.”
This approach is handy when someone is stuck on a repetitive question or comment. More examples:
What I’d really like to know is….
Yes, that’s true, and…
You know, I’ve also heard that…
Steer toward a cheerful past. Some people are soothed by comfort objects, like a stuffed animal to pet, a doll to hold, a toolbox to arrange—often things linked with positive memories of their past. You have to use trial and error to see what’s effective but respectful in an individual case. Music, sports games, or talk of weddings (any wedding!) are among popular topics for revisiting.
You know the person best. Even when dementia has altered personality, many core preferences, motivations, and traits remain and you can work with these to find a solution.
When a rough episode is over, give yourself a moment. Collect yourself. Give yourself some credit. There’s a tendency to focus only on the person with dementia, but it’s really fortifying to pay attention to yourself, too.
Take a few deep breaths. Scrawl in a journal. Text a friend. Go back in that bathroom for another silent scream. Anything that lets off some of the stress that even a well-handled incident can create.
And one more thing: Go easy on yourself going forward.
You’ll say or do things that don’t help. You won’t see a crazy situation coming. You’ll feel blindsided. You’ll lose patience and complain to your friends. You might even yell or lose it. I know because I’ve done all those things.
It’s okay. Self-kindness isn’t optional. It gives you the patience and resilience that caregiving requires.
A few things that help:
Remind yourself, “I’m only human.” Celebrate small victories and “good enough” care.
You can’t always know what ignited a crazy behavior. But once you’re in the habit of searching for clues, you’ll start to gain insight into the possibilities. And this, in turn, can help you nip future problems more quickly, or prevent them.
Try keeping a written log of incidents. Jot down what happened, the time of day, anything unusual you remember about what was going on, and what seemed to help. You think you’ll remember, but in the stress of everyday dementia care, incidents run together. You’ll be better able to track patterns. Having a record of frequency is also helpful if you need to involve medical help.
Two other things are worth mentioning for their power to help prevent extreme behaviors:
1.Routine. The more patterned the day, the less off-kilter your loved one. Routines are reassuring and serve as timekeepers for someone whose sense of time is eroding. It’s best to stay close to former routines—morning showers, if that’s been a lifelong habit, for example. Within reason, a little flexibility and spontaneity can be fun, but hew as regularly as you can to meals and bedtime.
2. Activity. Physical and mental stimulation won’t prevent dementia’s progression at this point. But the effects of movement on mood and sleep, especially, are strong. Build some kind of exercise into every day, even if it’s just walking around the house. Exposure to daylight can also help with sleep. Try not to do everything for the person or park them in front of the TV endlessly. You don’t have to play cruise director—few of us have time for that. You may find, though, that weaving stimulating activities into the day takes less effort than dealing with problematic behaviors they can help you avoid.
Depending on what you’re dealing with, you may need reinforcements to help you address the behavior.
First, look for help figuring out non-drug approaches to dementia behaviors. Some ideas:
Finally, talk to the person’s doctor. He or she can evaluate health-related causes and explore other approaches. Medication for dementia behaviors isn’t a first resort and is often risky, but sometimes works.
Two top reasons to get medical help quickly:
If you feel unsafe (due to aggression, violence, or unpredictable behaviors). When behavior management doesn’t stop hitting, lashing out, throwing things, or other kinds of violence and threats, reporting them to the person’s doctor is the kinder and safer path. Keep yourself safe! Medications may be justified.
If the person’s sleep issues are undermining your sleep.If the person with dementia is disrupting sleep for the whole household, tell his or her doctor. There are ways to optimize the sleep of someone with dementia – and solving a sleep problem improves the quality of life for everyone involved. You may also want to get yourself a checkup, to make sure that you’ve been checked for common medical problems that can worsen sleep.
Challenging dementia behaviors can be super-stressful. (I’ve called them worse things in my personal experience!) This basic approach can help stretch your patience and move you both toward a more peaceful quality of life.
Best of all, you can start using the “Why-This, Try-This” approach right away, even if you’ve been responding differently before.
To make these steps simple to refer to, I’ve compiled a free downloadable PDF, “7 Steps to Managing Difficult Dementia Behaviors — Without Medication, A Surviving Alzheimer’s Cheatsheet.”
Questions, suggestions, or “try” tips that work well for you? Please post them below!
Paula Spencer Scott is the author of Surviving Alzheimer’s: Practical Tips and Soul-Saving Wisdom for Caregivers .
Mobile is the nearest coastal city to home for us. We live in Montgomery, about two and a half hours up I-65, and when we want salt air, live oaks and a proper plate of oysters without crossing a state line, Mobile is where we point the car. It’s also one of the most historically…
This post was originally published on this site.
Call of Duty is once again putting a real hero on the roster. Activision announced that Modern Warfare 4, launching Oct. 23, will include the Call of Duty Endowment Valor Pack as day-one downloadable content, adding retired Marine Cpl. Kyle Carpenter as a playable character.
Carpenter earned the nation’s highest military honor for his actions on Nov. 21, 2010, in Marjah, Afghanistan. When a grenade landed near him and fellow Marine Nick Eufrazio during a firefight, Carpenter threw himself toward the blast to shield his teammate. He was unconscious for five weeks afterward and lost an eye and most of his teeth, along with sustaining numerous other serious injuries.
We’re honored to be partnering with U.S. Marine Corps veteran and Medal of Honor recipient, Kyle Carpenter, on the Call of Duty Endowment (C.O.D.E.) Valor Pack. Coming day 1 on October 23 to Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 4.
The C.O.D.E. Valor Pack will be available on Xbox Series… pic.twitter.com/t9IWo89vxu
— Call of Duty Endowment (@CODE4Vets) August 21, 2026
President Barack Obama presented Carpenter with the Medal of Honor at the White House in 2014, making him the youngest living recipient at the time.
The Valor Pack is the latest entry in a long-running tradition for the Call of Duty Endowment, Activision’s charity dedicated to helping veterans land quality jobs after leaving the service. Proceeds from the bundle will go directly to that mission.
It follows a similar release tied to Black Ops 7, which featured retired NASA astronaut and 9/11-era special operations veteran Chris Cassidy, and comes on the heels of the Endowment’s operator bundle honoring Army veteran and Purple Heart recipient Danielle Green, the first female combat veteran featured as a playable character in the franchise.
Since its founding in 2009, the Call of Duty Endowment has placed more than 150,000 veterans into civilian careers, funded entirely through Activision Blizzard’s overhead support so that all player donations go straight toward job placement.
Modern Warfare 4 launches Oct. 23 on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X, PC and Nintendo Switch 2. An open beta for all players runs Aug. 28 through Sept. 1, following a preorder beta already underway.
